Pair #27: "This Girl"

Original Post Date: August 15, 2005
Runtime: 0:27
Genres: Pop/Rock
Compilation Album: Pink Pants

Prompt Summary: a song that will help someone express their feelings for "this girl" ; requester lists three physical attributes to include, and that's it

Ah, the male gaze: creepy, often unwanted, and yet somehow still socially acceptable. With that in mind, I present "This Girl," the theme song of the male gaze.

Listening to this energetic track out of context may infuriate you, especially if you are a woman. (I would argue that they should infuriate you regardless of gender, but this isn't a blog about feminism, so I'm not going to argue that here.) The lyrics openly objectify a female's body, punctuated with the repeated line, "I don't even care about your personality."

When put into context, however, it becomes a hilarious, scathing work of art. See, the prompt behind this song asked Andrew to write a piece that expresses the requester's feelings for a girl he—presumably "he," though it would still be problematic to some degree regardless of gender—likes. The requester then went on to provide a short list of things about this girl that he finds worth expressing: "her beautiful light blue eyes, long brown hair, and great athletic body." You probably noticed that those are all physical, external attributes which are largely beyond her control.

Andrew included those attributes in the song, verbatim. The line about not caring about her personality? That was Andrew's idea. He turned this hormonal person's shallow expression of lust into a work of biting musical satire. Less than thirty seconds is all it takes for Mr. Pants* himself to rip this person a new one.

Now. We are human. Aesthetic and other attractions are a normal, healthy part of life—as are a lack thereof. But…tact is always important when expressing such attractions. And if we've learned anything from what women have been shouting at us over the last few years all of time, there's a time and a place for compliments that are only about physical appearance, and a song from an acquaintance is not that.

As a work of satire, this song is hilarious. The upbeat melody and the peppy punk sound, combined with the lyrics, produce an emotional whiplash that only perfectly constructed satire can muster. You start out thinking, "Oh, cool, a love song." And then you get to the last line, and you're like, "That is not what I was expecting, WTF. Why is he so happy about reducing this girl to her looks?"

I loved this song before I had even read the original prompt. Its message is pretty clear. And it's hilariously pulled off. But knowledge of the requester's original intention makes it even more hilarious because then you know that it's not just satire; Andrew epically trolled the requester. This song isn't just a cheeky interpretation; it's vicious.

*Throughout the vast majority (if not the entirety) of Songs to Wear Pants To's lifespan, Andrew credited himself as "Andrew Pants." Plus, addressing him as "Mr. Huang" in this context would have felt…absurd lol.

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