Pair #30: "Haircuts, They Are So Magical"

Original Post Date: June 14, 2010
Runtime: 0:25
Genre: Ska
Compilation Album: Corduroys, with Tassles

Prompt Summary: "a song that lists all the different kinds of haircuts"

Hey, you.* Time to make some New Year's resolutions. It's been almost a year, or longer, since your last haircut. Go get one. Specifically, get a bowl cut.

…And scene. That was my excellent attempt to tie the season into today's Song to Wear Pants To. I accept tips in the form of kittens.

Speaking of today's Song to Wear Pants To, I present "Haircuts, They Are So Magical," a fun short from late in the site's lifespan. It's also the first track on the sixth and final compilation album, and it's probably the best opener of any of them.

This high-energy ska song came about after someone asked Andrew to make a song listing every kind of haircut, a tall—like a beehive—order, considering new haircuts are invented basically every day. It opens up with the title, describing haircuts as magical and plentiful. And then Andrew starts his list. It has one item in it.

Yes, folks, apparently, we all have bowl cuts. And Andrew thinks it looks bad, too. So if you've ever wanted to be gaslit—assuming you don't actually have a bowl cut—and insulted within a ten-second timespan, this song was made for you.

*I addressed this post's first article to a very specific person. Assuming he ever reads this, he knows who he is…