Pair #17: "Girl, I'm Sorry, but I Have to Move"

"GIRL, I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO MOVE"
Original Post Date: June 7, 2005
Runtime: 1:11
Genre: Rock Ballad
Compilation Album: Blue Pants

Prompt Summary: a song about the sadness that results from moving away and thereby losing a girlfriend

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Up to now, I have covered a couple of songs that resulted from Andrew taking the prompts he was given and then intentionally misinterpreting the requesters' intentions to hilarious effect. But compared to this "cheeky interpretation," those are mere chuckle-generators; "Girl, I'm Sorry…" is the cheekiest interpretation, and it is excellent.

The original prompt comes off as serious, and if Andrew had played it straight, it could have ended up being a really bittersweet song, like something off his 2010 album Autumn.* Instead, we have this very literal song in which a brokenhearted person apologizes to their girlfriend for moving. But not, like, moving residences. No, like, actually moving. Like physically. At all. As if physical movement were a relationship dealbreaker for the girlfriend.

To add to the funny, Andrew performs the song as an emotional rock ballad, complete with a lyrical suggestion to the girlfriend character to "go out with a statue made of clay and stuff so you couldn't break its heart like mine," a line that's just quintessentially Songs to Wear Pants To. Heck, this whole song is quintessentially STWPT, with its ridiculous premise (which is itself based on a totally normal one), coupled with moving instrumentals and straight-played vocals.

It's labeled as one of Andrew's personal favorites on the original site, and it's no wonder: it's comedy gold, with or without knowledge of the prompt that inspired it. For that reason, it's also one of my personal favorites.

*I love Autumn because the first song is relatively upbeat, then the songs become increasingly depressing, culminating in "Your Heart," which is beautifully soul-crushing. Actually, I love the album because it's good music, but…. Oh, and one of the tracks on the album was originally a Song to Wear Pants To! (That whole album cycle is perfect, so expect me to reference it repeatedly in the future.)